Another blog, another cyber-voice - who cares?

FAQ's are brilliant.

For computer games.

That's right, get stuck against some unbelievably tough foe in Baldur's Gate 2, forget too pick up a vital item in Resident Evil 2, or completely misunderstand the leveling up system in Oblivion, and some clever bugger has already gone to the trouble of resolving your problem by posting an in-depth answer on gamefaqs.com. No longer do you need to restart the game, or re-trace your steps from where you've once been. Awesome! More importantly, no longer will you be considered a loser (except for the fact you're such a melon you need to use an FAQ to beat a game in the first place); victory will swiftly be yours!

But when it comes to writing your first entry on a Blog, which equally has you scratching your head looking for that confounded inspiration to open the lock to your imagination, are there any FAQ's that provide sound advice on the do's and dont's of crafting that opening soundbite. Like bollocks there is! Nothing, nada, nil. For someone from a generation of education policy that has led to little but a nation of spoon-fed imbecile's, this is highly disconcerting? What am I to do without the necessary instructions? Be pro-active? Original?

Arse-monkeys...

Okay, think dammit! Just ensure you don't try to be witty. "Oh look, not another blog!" How many dickheads have tried that one already? People have been there done that and subsequently been justly ignored for the remainder of eternity or expelled from the human race for such a 'comedy' dalliance. Hmm, how about a biography? Nope. Pretentious, smug; shows signs of delusion that one is actually capable of writing something worthy of publication in Big Magazine Publication. If that were the case, you wouldn't be sitting here writing a blog, idiot. Wacky? Throw together lots of words and pretend you're the next James Joyce? Nope. You'll end up looking like Timmy Mallet. Or worse. Well, in that case, how about the simple approach? If retro-games are still more playable because of their genuine simplicity over big modern-day graphical extravaganza's that are systematically devoid of gameplay, then it might just work.

Here goes then...


Hello. My name is Alan. This is my blog!