I've been sitting here, for a couple of days now, trying to devise a way to start this review on the violent futuristic sport simulation known as Speedball 2. As old as the hills, fairly redundant due to the deletion of the machine it could be played on (the mighty, mighty Amiga 500) and looking kind of basic in it's 2-D top down view compared to the three-dimensional graphical extravaganzas most modern games have on offer - the words "best game ever" seems a somewhat ridiculous opening statement for the masses to contend with. Foolhardy even! I'm likely to get laughed off the internet by the eleven to nineteen year olds who treasure there X-Box, Nintendo, and Playstation., all of whom probably have little notion of what Speedball 2, Amiga and the Hula Hoop actually are. But after tearing my hair out trying to establish the context of this review, it's the only way I can describe this piece of 16-bit perfection. Speedball 2 is a genius piece of games making that deserves more credence than the classic-retro gaming status it currently holds and the title of "Best Game Ever Made… Ever!" seems entirely appropriate. So "ya-boo sucks to you" my teenage chums.
So Speedball… a violent quasi-legal future sport with one rule, slam a solid steel ball into your opponents goal. Or, for a laugh, into your opponents face! That's right there are no other rules. Originally conceptualised as a game of six hulking brutes against six hulking brutes, beating each other to a pulp whilst attempting to score within the confines of a small metallic playing arena, corruption and violence eventually force the game underground. Unregulated and ungoverned Speedball degenerates into a fiasco. However, by the dawn of the 22nd century, public interest in the sport is reorganised and rejuvenated - a new league structure is created. There are new teams, new stadia and new ways to score. The arena is bigger, the players are tougher and the action is faster than ever before. From out of the darkness emerges Speedball 2 and, along with it, a new challenge. A new Speedball team have arrived on the scene, the toughly named Brutal Deluxe. Problem is their name belies the fact they are probably the worst team ever to appear in Speedball history. Worse still, you've been given the honour of attempting to turn them into champions. With only 14 weeks to reach the top division, can you create a team of bloodthirsty super-humans with deft Speedball ability to steamroll over the likes of Fatal Justice and Steel Fury?
Designed by the Bitmap Brothers (not real brothers), creators of a festival of classic Amiga games (Xenon 2, Chaos Engine, Gods), Speedball 2 advances upon the original Speedball game greatly. In some ways it's more of the same, yet entirely different - the perfect ingredients in sequel making. Speedball itself was a fun game, but did have a number of detractors. Whilst, the basic elements of the game made for some fantastic fast paced two-player fun, the single player game was rather simple and unchallenging, ensuring that the longevity was rather short-lived. Not good for hermits, pretty good for squabbling brothers. Furthermore, the play area was relatively tiny causing slight restrictions in gameplay and resulting in little strategy - it all got a little bit samey too quickly. Despite this, Speedball met with fair critical praise and is a decent game in its own right, but it's most important achievement was to be ever so slightly flawed, thus giving way to the catalyst for its successor.
Speedball 2 maintains the basic concepts of its predecessor - score lots of goals whilst tackling and pummelling your opponents into the ground - but improves immensely on said flaws. The Bitmap Brothers added two masterstrokes of pure genius to the erstwhile simplicity of Speedball. The first was the addition of a management feature in order to enhance the single player game. Now, not only would you partake in the in-game bashing, you could also transform your team into winners with a canny bit of training before every match. Furthermore, you could now purchase a couple of star players to beef up the bunch of weaklings at your command. Of course, these features require the use of cold, hard cash (picked up in-game) of which there never seems to be enough. Already the additional management feature makes for a more intriguing one-player game as you begin to plan stratagems for future matches - do you buy new, superior players or do you train-up the original squad slowly until they turn into superhuman behemoths? Hmm…
The second masterstroke consists of the actual matches. Gone is the tiny playing arena with its functional two-way vertical scrolling. Instead the Bitmap's have replaced it with an eight-way multi-directional scrolling pitch that seems about 8 times the size of the original. To say the pitch is vast is somewhat of an understatement. With the incorporation of nine brutes playing against nine to make use of the bigger playing area, the player graphics have also been updated and are speedier and more easy to control, resulting in some fast and furious action. Of course, a bigger pitch provides much more scope for added variety in gameplay and, again, the Brothers don't disappoint.
The variety of features ensures that how you go about winning games is completely up to you. For instance, there is more than one way to score. Not content with the normal route to goal (and the ten points awarded for such a feat) you can also hit either of the two bounce-domes for a couple of points, cripple an opponents player for another ten points or hit one of five stars on the sidewall of the arena for a couple of points each (light up all five stars and you're awarded 10 points). Alternatively, you can also deduct two points from your oppositions score if you hit a star they have managed to light up. Already you can see the scope for more strategic play coming to the fore - you don't even have to score a "proper" goal to win. And yet there's still more! The point multiplier (an invention of pure genius) can provide a slight advantage by doubling the team's points for each score obtained thereafter, once the ball is sent up the multiplier's chute. Such is the advantage half the game can be spent battling against opposition around the multiplier with little intention of scoring until you've obtained the multiplier's bonus. Other pitch features include an electrobounce (electrifying the ball so that it tackles the next player - very useful for scoring with only the keeper to beat) a warp gate (which instantly warps the ball to the other end of the pitch) and a vast array of tokens to collect that have a variety of in-game effects (power-ups for players making them harder and faster, freezing opposing players, locking your goal, etc. and silver coins representing 100 credits), all of which keeps things interesting when thinking about strategies to apply during a match. With regards to the silver coins, you can spend just as much time looking to pick these up than heading for goal, as they are equally essential for building and buying a successful team in the management section. Spending money on the right attributes for the right players or the best star players available really does make a difference in game. If you balls this aspect up, you're on a one-way street to a hiding.
All this added variety and tactical splendour could have collapsed under the heavy weight of expectation, yet Speedball 2 entails perfection in all other departments as well. Despite the additional complexities, which adds weight to the games longevity, Speedball 2 remains ever so simple a game to play. Essentially, the Bitmap Brothers recognised what worked in the original game and kept with said features. Therefore the match time remains at two halves of only ninety seconds each. It ensures the game is played at a furious, breathless and often reckless pace. Furthermore, the arena furniture stays the same throughout. Whereas the Bitmap's could have been tempted to move the point multipliers, bounce-domes, etc. around the pitch environment in every subsequent game, they realised that with only 90 seconds on the clock the player just wants to get into the game, not spend half the match searching for the integral tactical components of the pitch. Again, damn right simplicity is the way forward, with every arena for every game being identical, allowing the player to get on with the simple leg breaking tasks at hand.
But perhaps the greatest element to Speedball 2 is the games difficulty setting. Firstly, the computer AI is simply brilliant, meaning that your computer-controlled players don't do wayward or completely idiotic things that allow the opposition to score. Any goals conceded are nearly always down to human error. Likewise, computer opponents don't make the game in any way easy for human opponents and there's no real "one-way" to score, that once you've worked it out you'll score that way every single time (which many games of this period tended to suffer from). No, you actually have to think about what you're doing to be victorious. Indeed, when games of the quality of Pro Evolution Soccer still serve to frustrate the player with computer AI idiocy, it highlights the superior technical achievement of Speedball 2 almost a decade previously. Instead, Speedball 2 is one hell of a challenge. In fact, it's one of the toughest bastards of a game I've ever happened across. Whilst it has a highly appropriate learning curve, the first games in the lower league allowing you to set your stall for the higher league to follow, some of the teams in that higher league are damn near impossible to beat - super-fast, unbelievably tough, the game accelerates into a virtual hyper-mode of frantic defence and is literally jaw-dropping in it's amazing pace. But despite this, Speedball 2 curiously doesn't frustrate. The likes of Fatal Justice are beatable on your day; the player just needs to keep up the consistency of play and concentration to win through.
To this day I've only won the top league the once and yet I'm still playing, attempting to gain that achievement for a second time. Likewise, I've very rarely managed to beat my arch nemeses of the game, the deplorably fantastic Super Nashwan (or utter bastards), but when you do, the sense of achievement is, well, rather immense. Speedball 2 is quite simply a fantastic challenge. No game grabs you with such fiendish addictiveness (due to the exquisite learning curve and the marvellous simplicity) and over fifteen years later, it still hasn't let go. In terms of enduring and lasting gameplay, nothing beats Speedball 2.
Unsurprisingly, gameplay rules the day. You might have noticed that I haven't yet detailed the games graphics or sound, but do you really need to know, considering that gameplay is everything? Okay, then. Sure, they're not the best in the world being on a 16-bit machine, but they push the Amiga to its limit and, unsurprisingly, are rather faultless. The graphics have a superb metallic sheen and neo-fascist brutalism that provides an entirely appropriate arena for the action, but the key thing is the speed of the sprites. Without such a hyper-kinetic speed half the gameplay would be lost already - Speedball 2 is a fast-paced often frantic game and graphics need to be quick to ensure that this is the case. And they duly oblige. You won't find graphical glitches here or any slow down in the frame rate when too much happens on screen. Instead, the pace is simply breathtaking! Add to this some decent presentation screens throughout, a quality opening theme tune and the odd cry of "ice-cream" (which always raises a smile) in game amongst the cheering crowd and this is the veritable icing (pun intended) on the cake.
There's not much more I can say to convince you of Speedball 2's wonderful virtues. How about, no Speedball 2, no Sensible Soccer? In the chronology of gaming it could be said the 2-D top-down view of Speedball 2 considerably influenced one of the other great games of Amiga lore. Not buying it? How about in the fifteen years since it's release no game has bettered it's future sport environment. Now that's not open conjecture, that's a fact! Speedball 2's superb mix of tactics and outright violence, coupled with sheer addictiveness and an amazing frantic pace, with the addition that you'll find no game as challenging that you'll just keep coming back to, time after time after time, simply makes this the greatest game of all time, ever.
Overall - Best. Game. Ever! Speedball 2 pisses all over anything the X-Box 360 has produced gameplay wise. Seriously…
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Irrational Hate Football Player - #2 Andy Cole
Andy Cole won numerous accolades with Manchester United whilst at the Devil Trafford Bowl, including a Big Cup medal in 1999, and scored 187 goals in the Premiership, which kind of singles him out as a rather talented footballer. The available statistics can help to construct a picture of a formidable striker, with a keen eye for goal and who never missed a sitter when the opportunity presented itself. So it may come of something of a surprise to hear that he was something of a goalkeeper's best friend.
Regularly guilty of missing a hatful of simple chances (none more so than the last game of the 1995 season against West Ham allowing Blackeye Rovers to sneak away the title), this was often overshadowed by the fact he played for United during a period when they were supremely brilliant. With the likes of Cantona, Beckham, Scholes, Giggs, Yorke, etc. feeding you chance after chance after chance, the likelyhood of Cole getting a flooky rebound into the bottom corner was a statistical dead cert. Especially as he had the touch of a donkey. And scoring five against an Ipswich Town side that had unleasehed eleven gibbons on the pitch instead of footballers is hardly anything special.
Okay, so he did score one or two classy goals to his credit, but when you consider the side he was playing for and the easy (oh they were so easy) chances he managed to fluff, he really was a bit of a turdburgling catastrophe. Cantona, Solskajer, Sherringham, and Yorke - Cole's immediate United peers - are all more revered, and can you imagine just how many more goals and how dominant United would have been if Shearer had gone for glory rather than sentimony. At least he does have an international record that shows him up for the Darius Vassell he really is - even Vassell has a better international record!
And then, after years of being referred to as Andy, he became all prententious and insisted that his name was Andrew. Just Andrew. We should just hate him for that, really...
Regularly guilty of missing a hatful of simple chances (none more so than the last game of the 1995 season against West Ham allowing Blackeye Rovers to sneak away the title), this was often overshadowed by the fact he played for United during a period when they were supremely brilliant. With the likes of Cantona, Beckham, Scholes, Giggs, Yorke, etc. feeding you chance after chance after chance, the likelyhood of Cole getting a flooky rebound into the bottom corner was a statistical dead cert. Especially as he had the touch of a donkey. And scoring five against an Ipswich Town side that had unleasehed eleven gibbons on the pitch instead of footballers is hardly anything special.
Okay, so he did score one or two classy goals to his credit, but when you consider the side he was playing for and the easy (oh they were so easy) chances he managed to fluff, he really was a bit of a turdburgling catastrophe. Cantona, Solskajer, Sherringham, and Yorke - Cole's immediate United peers - are all more revered, and can you imagine just how many more goals and how dominant United would have been if Shearer had gone for glory rather than sentimony. At least he does have an international record that shows him up for the Darius Vassell he really is - even Vassell has a better international record!
And then, after years of being referred to as Andy, he became all prententious and insisted that his name was Andrew. Just Andrew. We should just hate him for that, really...
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Has my finger shrunk?
Or has my wedding ring increased in mass? It's a curious situation that has so far only offered me further bewilderment. I can accept that whilst training for Big Run t'up North that I lost a fair few pounds all over, returned to my more athletic nature of circa 1997 and hence my fingers became more skeletal than the chubby sausages that had set up home. But whilst the little beer gut is making an effort to resurface, and the addition of wild boar pie to my diet (Borough Market rules) that same sodding finger remains typically stunted with said wedding ring doing its best to slip off and roll down the drain, hence getting me into trouble with the missus. So, what the hell's going on? Does platinum expand when it's brass monkeys outside? Or is my body going through a weird stage with the onset of my birthday, christmas and the recession, whereby the phalanges extend into Freddy Krueger claws whilst the rest of the torso does a Mr Creosote?
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
The finishing line... at last!
Well, on Sunday The Great North Run finally came round and it was time to see how all the training I'd put in faired. I felt pretty good - the little beer gut had disappeared and a slimmer, leaning Alboy (though still short) had taken my place - and the weather was lovely! Considering the weather the day before was blowing glows and pissing with rain, a clear blue sky and a healthy dose of warmth was the least I was expecting. Still, 13 miles is a fair old distance, so it was going to be anything but easy...
What did help pump the adrenaline and keep going to the end was the terrific atmosphere on the route. It was crowded for the 55,000 runners but everyone was polite and lovely when we kept bumbing into each other accidentally. I lost count of the number of bands playing on the route (the def Leppard tribute band was ace) and the locals in Gateshead and South Shields are an admirable lot. Who else would cheer on a bunch of strangers on a Sunday morning rather than watch the Hollyoaks omnibus. Some even provided their own refreshment for the runners on the side of the road in the form of biscuits, ice-pops, water and tissues when they had no real need to, which is, frankly, awesome!
However, the best part of the day was when me and my mate hit the Tyne bridge after a couple of miles. Just as we stepped on seven Red Arrows in a really tight formation screamed overhead at a stupidly low altitude. That got us buzzing! As we stepped off the Tyne bridge they flew back over following the route of the Tyne. Spine-tingling stuff! We did miss out on shaking hands with Chris Hoy and Rebecca Addlington though, as we were on the wrong side of the road when we crossed the start line, but hey-ho, it was still just nice to see a couple of Olympic gold medalists as one begins the first of their 13 mile trudge!
All in all, a great occassion. The run went well also. The first 10k was completed in 50 minutes, but I struggled between 10 and 12 miles, where the route, rather punishingly returned to a gradual up hill struggle. The old lactic acid was beginning to kick in around that point! However, I put a good finish in during the last mile, which ensured I just pipped my target time of one hour and 50 minutes. For the record, I ran 13.1 miles in one hour 49 minute and 23 seconds. Lewis beat that however, finishing in an hour and 40 minutes! Good work fella!! And of course the real winner was the MS Society for whom we managed to raise over £650 for. There's nothing quite like the sense of accomplishment you have crossing the finishing line when you have that in mind!
Having finsihed the Great North Run I am now also in a position to officially state that people who run marathons are crazy mad bonkers... my legs have been killing me since and I'm working from home today as I'm certainly not hobbling to work in such pain, and that was only after half distance! Crazy people, I tells you. What's the betting I'll soon be doing the London Marathon, eh?
What did help pump the adrenaline and keep going to the end was the terrific atmosphere on the route. It was crowded for the 55,000 runners but everyone was polite and lovely when we kept bumbing into each other accidentally. I lost count of the number of bands playing on the route (the def Leppard tribute band was ace) and the locals in Gateshead and South Shields are an admirable lot. Who else would cheer on a bunch of strangers on a Sunday morning rather than watch the Hollyoaks omnibus. Some even provided their own refreshment for the runners on the side of the road in the form of biscuits, ice-pops, water and tissues when they had no real need to, which is, frankly, awesome!
However, the best part of the day was when me and my mate hit the Tyne bridge after a couple of miles. Just as we stepped on seven Red Arrows in a really tight formation screamed overhead at a stupidly low altitude. That got us buzzing! As we stepped off the Tyne bridge they flew back over following the route of the Tyne. Spine-tingling stuff! We did miss out on shaking hands with Chris Hoy and Rebecca Addlington though, as we were on the wrong side of the road when we crossed the start line, but hey-ho, it was still just nice to see a couple of Olympic gold medalists as one begins the first of their 13 mile trudge!
All in all, a great occassion. The run went well also. The first 10k was completed in 50 minutes, but I struggled between 10 and 12 miles, where the route, rather punishingly returned to a gradual up hill struggle. The old lactic acid was beginning to kick in around that point! However, I put a good finish in during the last mile, which ensured I just pipped my target time of one hour and 50 minutes. For the record, I ran 13.1 miles in one hour 49 minute and 23 seconds. Lewis beat that however, finishing in an hour and 40 minutes! Good work fella!! And of course the real winner was the MS Society for whom we managed to raise over £650 for. There's nothing quite like the sense of accomplishment you have crossing the finishing line when you have that in mind!
Having finsihed the Great North Run I am now also in a position to officially state that people who run marathons are crazy mad bonkers... my legs have been killing me since and I'm working from home today as I'm certainly not hobbling to work in such pain, and that was only after half distance! Crazy people, I tells you. What's the betting I'll soon be doing the London Marathon, eh?
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Classic retro-games - #1 Cannon Fodder
When I finally get round to writing my "Big Book of Computer Gaming History" one software development company will feature prominently from the late eighties and early nineties period. The simple genius of Parallax, a multi-directional shoot 'em up that was one of the first Commodore 64 games to utilise parallax scrolling, and the off-beat daftness of Wizball would normally be enough to have Chris Yates' and Jon Hare's Sensible Software in any gaming Hall of Fame. But when you consider these are the same chaps that also brought gamers the wonderful pin-stick sprites and superior gameplay of the best footy game ever made - the magnificent Sensible Soccer - you realise these guys should be revered just a little more than the teams of 3-D model designers and programmers working on many an average next generation console game today. And then there's Cannon Fodder. A simple top-down view, point and click shoot 'em up that courted controversy for glorifying war at the time of its release, yet remains a true classic thanks to it's sly, sardonic humour and has left one hell of a legacy in the gaming world at large. Not bad for a couple of blokes that graduated from Dukes nightclub in Chelmsford!
Cannon Fodder puts you in control of a small outfit of troops (up to a maximum of eight) that charge around 2-D backdrops comprising jungle, arctic, desert, underground bunker and even farmland landscapes. Multi-directional scrolling is employed to generate large maps for your little men to wander and investigate as they look to achieve very simple aims; kill all enemy and destroy all buildings are the only orders of the day! Such orders are relatively easy to follow - pointing and left-clicking on your mouse moves your men about, right mouse clicking has them fire in the direction the cursor is pointed, holding both buttons down allows you to throw a grenade. Your troops can be split into teams along with jumping into the odd vehicle as and when necessary, allowing for more strategic and tactical elements to be employed in later missions. For example, the player may have to split their team into two or more groups, leaving one group to defend an area or route, assigning its control to the game's artificial intelligence, while taking control of the other. Each soldier that survives a mission is promoted and receives a small increase in the rate of fire, accuracy, and range. Lose all your men in a mission and the recruits from boot camp will take their place and start the phase again. Run out of recruits and its game over. And that really is all there is to it in this joyously uncomplicated game. You see the enemy, blow the mothers away before they get you!
Such simplicity makes the game instantly hookable. The first mission is merely a static one-screen map with three enemies. All that is required is too shoot and kill these numpties with the two troops provided. Easy! From there, though, once you've found your way comfortably around, the difficulty level increases appropriately and begins to provide a somewhat huge challenge. 25 missions, often sub-divided into various phases (featuring between two to five different map scenarios) with more enemies invading the screen than you care to imagine means you're likely to be participant in bloody carnage well into the dwindling twilight. That the enemy begin to hide in the jungle undergrowth, deploy rocket launchers (which are a bugger for a full squad of men to dodge), utilise more powerful vehicles such as helicopters and tanks, and generally aim better than your average intergalactic stormtrooper, is only the start of such difficulties. With map sizes getting larger and larger, environmental factors such as trip mines, quicksand, oil barrels, debris from exploding buildings and restless natives (including a comedy farmer who shouts "get of my land" before blasting both barrels in your troops direction) needing to be navigated, Cannon Fodder is certainly not as easy as it may first seem. Ideally, this is the Sensible Software way. Games that are easy to pick up and play but require some time and dedication to master, equals instant addictiveness and enduring longevity.
Additionally, as is also the Sensible Software way, Cannon Fodder features that same offbeat humour and enduring quirkiness as seen in previous titles, which helps to keep the gamer fully engrossed. The graphics closely follow the style of those in Sensible Soccer with player sprites charmingly represented by small detailed stick men, which for the Amiga's capabilities work so effectively against the detailed backdrops. Just watching the men skid along the ground after being impaled by a bullet, or launch into the air at a stupidly ridiculous height after failing to avoid a grenade is a delight. The same can be said when a casualty is not killed outright - the 'ow' and 'ahs' as an enemy lay bleeding to death in a fountain of blood can be described as little else than amusing, because of the quality graphical style. Whilst the in-game sound effects are minimal, each mission is preceded by a rousing rock anthem to get you in the mood for a little blood-letting, followed by a foot-stomping happy track once you've completed the carnage successfully. It is in these small details that make Cannon Fodder as refreshing a game as it is to this day.
Still, many would argue that such in-game facets provides a precedent for the glorification of war, yet as the opening titles say with tongue firmly in cheek; Cannon Fodder is in no way endorsed by the Royal British Legion! Neither is it particularly un-PC. The game merely lampoons war and how most governments have historically regarded the men under their command - as little more than cannon fodder! Additionally the mission objectives of kill all enemy, has a delicious sentiment about it of what the underlying meaning of the 'sweep and clear' objective in Vietnam was really all about. The opening song of "War, has never been so much fun" is only really bettered by the home and away styled footy score at the top of the main game page keeping tally of each sides death count. That the page also contrasts boot hill, which slowly fills with the mass graves of your dead men, and the recruits lining up on a pathway around the hill to recruit into your service, is blackly comic genius. Yes, Cannon Fodder is fairly subversive, but it's this carnival of silliness that gets across a simple message of war being an utter waste of life. Better to play a seriously fun computer game simulating such an event rather than being an active and exploited participant. (See, you really can learn things from computer games!)
The quality of Cannon Fodder is self-evident in that even after 15 years since its original release, a PSP version is still in the making. The demand shouldn't be surprising either, as the legacy of Cannon Fodder lives on in pretty much every real-time-strategy game that has followed since. Command and Conquer owes much to the simplicity of Cannon Fodder, as it does to the more difficult concepts of Populous. Sure, some of the missions are tougher than vindalooed mutton, to the extent that you begin to sob as your new recruits become the literal 'cannon fodder' to ensure progress. Yet there's enough in the style of the game to keep you engrossed and willing to progress despite your men being turned into mince-meat. Indeed, there are few other war games that are likely to be as silly that's for sure, and with the key concept of fun overriding the more strategic sensibilities, Cannon Fodder is easily one of the most enjoyable games ever made for the Amiga. It's still well worth investigating, especially if you're bored of overly complex, soulless real-time strategy games - Cannon Fodder relives what the good old days used to be like. Highly recommended!
Overall - War has never been so much fun! That's the damn truth...
Cannon Fodder puts you in control of a small outfit of troops (up to a maximum of eight) that charge around 2-D backdrops comprising jungle, arctic, desert, underground bunker and even farmland landscapes. Multi-directional scrolling is employed to generate large maps for your little men to wander and investigate as they look to achieve very simple aims; kill all enemy and destroy all buildings are the only orders of the day! Such orders are relatively easy to follow - pointing and left-clicking on your mouse moves your men about, right mouse clicking has them fire in the direction the cursor is pointed, holding both buttons down allows you to throw a grenade. Your troops can be split into teams along with jumping into the odd vehicle as and when necessary, allowing for more strategic and tactical elements to be employed in later missions. For example, the player may have to split their team into two or more groups, leaving one group to defend an area or route, assigning its control to the game's artificial intelligence, while taking control of the other. Each soldier that survives a mission is promoted and receives a small increase in the rate of fire, accuracy, and range. Lose all your men in a mission and the recruits from boot camp will take their place and start the phase again. Run out of recruits and its game over. And that really is all there is to it in this joyously uncomplicated game. You see the enemy, blow the mothers away before they get you!
Such simplicity makes the game instantly hookable. The first mission is merely a static one-screen map with three enemies. All that is required is too shoot and kill these numpties with the two troops provided. Easy! From there, though, once you've found your way comfortably around, the difficulty level increases appropriately and begins to provide a somewhat huge challenge. 25 missions, often sub-divided into various phases (featuring between two to five different map scenarios) with more enemies invading the screen than you care to imagine means you're likely to be participant in bloody carnage well into the dwindling twilight. That the enemy begin to hide in the jungle undergrowth, deploy rocket launchers (which are a bugger for a full squad of men to dodge), utilise more powerful vehicles such as helicopters and tanks, and generally aim better than your average intergalactic stormtrooper, is only the start of such difficulties. With map sizes getting larger and larger, environmental factors such as trip mines, quicksand, oil barrels, debris from exploding buildings and restless natives (including a comedy farmer who shouts "get of my land" before blasting both barrels in your troops direction) needing to be navigated, Cannon Fodder is certainly not as easy as it may first seem. Ideally, this is the Sensible Software way. Games that are easy to pick up and play but require some time and dedication to master, equals instant addictiveness and enduring longevity.
Additionally, as is also the Sensible Software way, Cannon Fodder features that same offbeat humour and enduring quirkiness as seen in previous titles, which helps to keep the gamer fully engrossed. The graphics closely follow the style of those in Sensible Soccer with player sprites charmingly represented by small detailed stick men, which for the Amiga's capabilities work so effectively against the detailed backdrops. Just watching the men skid along the ground after being impaled by a bullet, or launch into the air at a stupidly ridiculous height after failing to avoid a grenade is a delight. The same can be said when a casualty is not killed outright - the 'ow' and 'ahs' as an enemy lay bleeding to death in a fountain of blood can be described as little else than amusing, because of the quality graphical style. Whilst the in-game sound effects are minimal, each mission is preceded by a rousing rock anthem to get you in the mood for a little blood-letting, followed by a foot-stomping happy track once you've completed the carnage successfully. It is in these small details that make Cannon Fodder as refreshing a game as it is to this day.
Still, many would argue that such in-game facets provides a precedent for the glorification of war, yet as the opening titles say with tongue firmly in cheek; Cannon Fodder is in no way endorsed by the Royal British Legion! Neither is it particularly un-PC. The game merely lampoons war and how most governments have historically regarded the men under their command - as little more than cannon fodder! Additionally the mission objectives of kill all enemy, has a delicious sentiment about it of what the underlying meaning of the 'sweep and clear' objective in Vietnam was really all about. The opening song of "War, has never been so much fun" is only really bettered by the home and away styled footy score at the top of the main game page keeping tally of each sides death count. That the page also contrasts boot hill, which slowly fills with the mass graves of your dead men, and the recruits lining up on a pathway around the hill to recruit into your service, is blackly comic genius. Yes, Cannon Fodder is fairly subversive, but it's this carnival of silliness that gets across a simple message of war being an utter waste of life. Better to play a seriously fun computer game simulating such an event rather than being an active and exploited participant. (See, you really can learn things from computer games!)
The quality of Cannon Fodder is self-evident in that even after 15 years since its original release, a PSP version is still in the making. The demand shouldn't be surprising either, as the legacy of Cannon Fodder lives on in pretty much every real-time-strategy game that has followed since. Command and Conquer owes much to the simplicity of Cannon Fodder, as it does to the more difficult concepts of Populous. Sure, some of the missions are tougher than vindalooed mutton, to the extent that you begin to sob as your new recruits become the literal 'cannon fodder' to ensure progress. Yet there's enough in the style of the game to keep you engrossed and willing to progress despite your men being turned into mince-meat. Indeed, there are few other war games that are likely to be as silly that's for sure, and with the key concept of fun overriding the more strategic sensibilities, Cannon Fodder is easily one of the most enjoyable games ever made for the Amiga. It's still well worth investigating, especially if you're bored of overly complex, soulless real-time strategy games - Cannon Fodder relives what the good old days used to be like. Highly recommended!
Overall - War has never been so much fun! That's the damn truth...
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Looking back, over my shoulder...
If there's one thing I've been able to do to take my mind off the slow inevitability of the Great North Run looming ever closer, it's to really sit down and get my Amiga Emulator working. Why? Well, it just so happens that most computer games today, despite the glorious looking graphics and the unbelievable sound, suffer from an evident lack of challenge and are about as much fun to play as a swift kick in the nuts. GTA IV? What a carnival of unenjoyable bollocks - not one line of Hari-Krishna's in sight to mow down! Speedball 2 Tournament? Players move around like lame ducks - what has happened to the speed and finesse that once owned the computer world? Pro Evolution Soccer? You mean I still have to pay forty quid for a cursory update that does little to significantly alter the gameplay of the previous incarnation?
Aye, the old days were simpiler times, where games thrived on invention and innovation and didn't take the gamer for granted. Where you only completed a game after years rather than a couple of weeks. Where graphics were economical at best, but allowed the gameplay to take hold. So, it's with great pleasure that I finally got WinUAE working with ClassicWB and installed a few games from yester-year on the emulated hard-drive, and boy have I been having a great time. Classic games from the Bitmap Brothers, Sensible Software, Factor 5, Tony Crowther and the likes of many others have been sampled and enjoyed that even the mighty Civ 4 and Baldur's Gate 2 have once again been placed on the back burner. It really is like having an Amiga 1200 boot up on your PC, but only much more quicker. Indeed, the only thing missing is my PC gamepad is a poor substitute for a zip-stick!
Of course there's a couple of classics that have really got their talons out and have dug deep that I've been unable to put them down during my free time, so there's likely to appear a few retro classic reviews appearing in the near future. And if you haven't done so already, download WinUAE and ClassicWB - you won't regret it! Even after all these years, the Amiga is still an example of what a great games machine should look like.
Aye, the old days were simpiler times, where games thrived on invention and innovation and didn't take the gamer for granted. Where you only completed a game after years rather than a couple of weeks. Where graphics were economical at best, but allowed the gameplay to take hold. So, it's with great pleasure that I finally got WinUAE working with ClassicWB and installed a few games from yester-year on the emulated hard-drive, and boy have I been having a great time. Classic games from the Bitmap Brothers, Sensible Software, Factor 5, Tony Crowther and the likes of many others have been sampled and enjoyed that even the mighty Civ 4 and Baldur's Gate 2 have once again been placed on the back burner. It really is like having an Amiga 1200 boot up on your PC, but only much more quicker. Indeed, the only thing missing is my PC gamepad is a poor substitute for a zip-stick!
Of course there's a couple of classics that have really got their talons out and have dug deep that I've been unable to put them down during my free time, so there's likely to appear a few retro classic reviews appearing in the near future. And if you haven't done so already, download WinUAE and ClassicWB - you won't regret it! Even after all these years, the Amiga is still an example of what a great games machine should look like.
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
The lonliness of a long distance runner...
Well, this morning's early morning jog to work went rather well. Eight-and-a-half miles following the route of the Northern Line in just under one hour and 20 minutes is bang on the target time Lewis and I are looking to achieve next weekend at that distance. Even better news is that my legs were still full of running by the time I reached the office, meaning four additional miles shouldn't be too difficult to manage. Cardio-wise, no problems, just need the legs to hold out as at certain junctures during the run they did ache. So, leading into the Great North Run I feel in pretty good condition. Let's hope it remains that way so I can attempt to complete the run in the hour and 50 minutes planned.
Still, was constantly dosing off at work during the day once the adrenaline stopped pumping through the body, and I had the appetite of a big hungry bear! Running long distances isn't without it's consequenc.... zzzzzzzzzzz!
Still, was constantly dosing off at work during the day once the adrenaline stopped pumping through the body, and I had the appetite of a big hungry bear! Running long distances isn't without it's consequenc.... zzzzzzzzzzz!
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Where the hell is everybody?
Boy, running takes almost as much out of you as planning for a wedding! For the last month I've had little time to spend procrastinating and drinking tea, having mostly spent it undergoing some physical exertion or another. I'm betting Chinese water torture isn't as unpleasant. So, along with a long Saturday morning run (tomorrow morning's will be around the 13-14 kilometre mark... ouch) I've also managed to pack in some swimming, squash and pre-season footy training. Whilst most of the muscles in my body now seem to ache constantly, some good has come of this silliness. Alcohol has become redundant in my fluid intake, and my body shape has returned to the slender build of around five years ago. That's right, the beer gut has hibernated and subsequently gone missing. Yay!
Only two more weeks of the intense training and then the actual Great North Run will be upon us. Once out of the way normal service will resume. Well, I say normal service, but the narcissist in me is liking the shapely tone of my current build, so I may keep up some of the exercise I'm currently undertaking to fend off the return of the little beer gut. A weekly 5K run should be easy enough after blowing out of my arsehole for 13 miles! Why is looking good made to be so much hard work?
Still, in my absence here's an advertisement for what I need to help me keep this blog updated more often...
Will it motivate me? Will it bollocks!
Only two more weeks of the intense training and then the actual Great North Run will be upon us. Once out of the way normal service will resume. Well, I say normal service, but the narcissist in me is liking the shapely tone of my current build, so I may keep up some of the exercise I'm currently undertaking to fend off the return of the little beer gut. A weekly 5K run should be easy enough after blowing out of my arsehole for 13 miles! Why is looking good made to be so much hard work?
Still, in my absence here's an advertisement for what I need to help me keep this blog updated more often...
Will it motivate me? Will it bollocks!
Sunday, 31 August 2008
Future Noir!
I've been partaking in a little Blade Runner fest during the last few weeks. Meaning I've finally got round to reading Paul Sammon's insightful book on the movie, watched the documentary "Dangerous Days" from the Final Cut box-set and been reminiscing about (and searching for a copy) of the great PC computer game from the late nineties. How I'd love to get my hands on that again! I'll get round to watching the workprint at some point and will probably re-read "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" (after I've got through Dick's Valis which is my current read) but all of this simply means that my enjoyment of the film is far from wanning. So here's what I think of perhaps one of the finest films ever made...
Blade Runner (1982)
Blighted by an arduous shoot that led to t-shirt wars between an unsympathetic American crew and its English director; a frosty relationship with Tandem pictures; a considerable misjudgement in releasing the film with a dour voice over narration and happy ending following mediocre preview sneaks in Denver and Dallas; and the fact it followed on the boot heels of Spielberg's wonderful ET, you would think it amazing that Blade Runner ever found a loving audience. Few films that flop ever go on to do much business, yet alone receive a re-release in the form of a director's cut at cinema screens 10 years later. However, Blade Runner isn't just any other film. The opening shot alone defines the movie as something rather special, even if to admire simply as a piece of art. But there was always much more boiling under the 'layered' surface - something the critics didn't originally catch on - which has since proved that Blade Runner is perhaps the greatest science fiction movie ever made. Thank the monkey lords for sci-fi geeks and VHS, eh?
Los Angeles, 2019, and six Nexus 6 replicants, an advanced phase of robot evolution virtually identical to a human, have arrived on Earth from an off world colony. Manufactured with an in-built four-year life span, they're looking for longer lasting batteries from the genetic engineers who designed them. Problem is replicants are illegal on Earth, under penalty of death, and having killed the crew and passengers of an off-world shuttle to get to the homeworld, they're immediately targeted for retirement by special police squads - Blade Runner units - who have orders to shoot to kill upon detection any trespassing replicants. After one Blade Runner is wounded by a replicant attempting to infiltrate the Tyrell Corporation as an employee, reluctant ex-Blade Runner Rick Deckard (an excellent world weary Harrison Ford) is called in by former boss Bryant (M. Emmett Walsh) to work some of the old magic and retire the four remaining replicants. But with the Nexus 6 model being superior in strength and agility to your average man, and only being detectable by a Voight-Kampf test which measures emotional response (something replicants lack) Deckard will be hard pushed to finish the job...
You could be forgiven for thinking Blade Runner was a fast-paced action orientated adventure flick based within a futuristic landscape. It's certainly what critics were anticipating in 1982 (so much so that rumours started the film would end with a flying car chase over the skies of LA), and with Ford in the lead role following Indy and Star Wars the last thing expected was a slow burning, intense, cerebral thriller that featured more poignancy and European art house than gunplay. Yet when you look at Philip K. Dick's source novel 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' and recognise that the content was protracted by environmental concerns and meta-physical connotations (does a computer really love you?) it's not really all that surprising. The pleasing thing is director Ridley Scott decided not to undermine the novel by turning it into an action fest, and instead concentrated on bringing to the screen perhaps the most stark and greatly realised future dystopia ever imagined.
The opening shot of an industrial shitscape with blooms of fire arcing into the sky and flying cars hovering overhead, juxtaposed by a cut to a large blinking eye and set to Vangelis' wonderful opening score, is absolutely stunning and perhaps one of the most iconic shots ever composed for science fiction. And that's just the start of the film. Having visual futurist Syd Mead on board enhanced the set design to such an extent that the look of the film almost overwhelms the rest of the movie. The heavy metal look and the layered textures of the buildings, combined with gaudy neon, big screen advertising, police 'spinners', a perpetual darkness and never ending rainfall makes for one beautiful nightmare. The world of Blade Runner is often too much for the eye to take in. That's its appeal, and why people watching it for the hundredth time are still finding something new in almost every frame. With each blink (ironic that eyes are a central theme in the movie) an entire world crashes in, be it the whimsical beauty of Eldon Tyrell's opulent office with a view to a feint sun setting behind the smog filled sky, Deckard's chase of a replicant through the populated streets of LA (including bounding through a group of Hari Krishna's) or the Bradbury building - Ridley Scott style - as you've never seen it before.
It's not surprising that since its release many a science fiction source probably owes a nod to Blade Runner. It's difficult to see the world of William Gibson's Neuromancer being set anywhere else, computer games such as Beneath A Steel Sky merely 'replicated' the visual style and numerous films have also attempted to realise the setting but with a heightened CGI colour palette. Yet, Blade Runner needs no air brushing - it looks as gorgeous today as it did in 1982. Likewise, it's fascinating that the world of Blade Runner is slowly becoming a reality with every passing day. The multicultural LA of the future, with people falling over people on its busy streets, large screen billboard advertising and a permanent 'noise' from vehicles and pedestrian crossings is really no different from that of Piccadilly Circus, Tokyo or even modern LA. The perpetual rainfall and the lack of any real animals (all animals seen in the film are replicants) is also remarkably prescient in this age of environmental concern.
If the setting is perfect for a future noir and it's burned out, down trodden, Marlow-esque detective to begin locating replicants then it's just as well Scott infused the film with depth to match the visual style. With Harrison Ford's monochrome voice over removed in the director's cut, and Ridley Scott re-inserting the original ambiguous ending and the inclusion of his precious (and beautiful) unicorn dream sequence, the subtlety of the movies themes and plot are even more greatly enhanced. The anger of the outlawed replicants and their rebellion against their creators is more thoughtfully crafted, as is Deckard's apathy to a job he loathes as he is systematically dehumanised by the process of executing those that are near enough human. Indeed, the fact that the film doesn't simply focus on Deckard but gives equal merit to those he is hunting, their thoughts, needs and concerns is unique as the audience genuinely feel sympathy for their plight. After all, as Gaff (Edward James Olmos) suggests, wouldn't we all like more life?
Like all good science fiction Blade Runner attempts to say something about the nature of man without ramming it down your throat. Roy Batty's (a superb Rutger Hauer) closing 'tears in rain' eulogy is poetic and enchanting and has more poignancy in its 'live life to the full' message that few other films can match. More so the ambiguity of Hauer's words, the motivations of the replicants and Deckard's own questionable ethics, leaves the meaning of the film specifically at the door of the viewer to make their own interpretations - the encapsulation of a perfect movie experience. You can choose to see religious allegory in Batty's meeting with Tyrell and the nail he thrusts through his hand, or not! Likewise, you can make whatever you want out of the unicorn's significance. Sure, there are some action sequences (and some gory - one sequence of eye gouging is particularly grim), but these are often tense and suspenseful, never derailing from the ethos of Blade Runner's intelligence. The replicants Deckard does manage to execute are questionable victims and the final chase is interjected by Batty alluding to a role reversal between him and his pursuer, again making the film less an obliquely black and white experience of good overcoming evil. It's much darker, oppressive and thoughtful than that...
Blade Runner is probably not for everyone. Some will find it's slow pace lethargic and the content somewhat dour and depressing. Additionally with the removal of the voice over, everything is no longer spelled out for those not conducive to subtlety and thinking for themselves. But, for those looking for a visual treat and a thoughtful, cerebral story to match, there is little that can top Blade Runner. Easily Ridley Scott's best film, with performances from Ford and Batty that neither has ever bettered, there's a good reason why a director's cut of the movie was released 10 years later. That's simply to show to those that never got round to it the first time what a truly magnificent piece of filmmaking Blade Runner is. Outstanding!
Overall - If only you could see what I have with my eyes, and whilst I'm sure I'll never get to see what the Tanhauser Gate or an attack ship on fire off the shoulders of Orion actually look like, I have seen Blade Runner. It's awesome! Watch it now!
Blade Runner (1982)
Blighted by an arduous shoot that led to t-shirt wars between an unsympathetic American crew and its English director; a frosty relationship with Tandem pictures; a considerable misjudgement in releasing the film with a dour voice over narration and happy ending following mediocre preview sneaks in Denver and Dallas; and the fact it followed on the boot heels of Spielberg's wonderful ET, you would think it amazing that Blade Runner ever found a loving audience. Few films that flop ever go on to do much business, yet alone receive a re-release in the form of a director's cut at cinema screens 10 years later. However, Blade Runner isn't just any other film. The opening shot alone defines the movie as something rather special, even if to admire simply as a piece of art. But there was always much more boiling under the 'layered' surface - something the critics didn't originally catch on - which has since proved that Blade Runner is perhaps the greatest science fiction movie ever made. Thank the monkey lords for sci-fi geeks and VHS, eh?
Los Angeles, 2019, and six Nexus 6 replicants, an advanced phase of robot evolution virtually identical to a human, have arrived on Earth from an off world colony. Manufactured with an in-built four-year life span, they're looking for longer lasting batteries from the genetic engineers who designed them. Problem is replicants are illegal on Earth, under penalty of death, and having killed the crew and passengers of an off-world shuttle to get to the homeworld, they're immediately targeted for retirement by special police squads - Blade Runner units - who have orders to shoot to kill upon detection any trespassing replicants. After one Blade Runner is wounded by a replicant attempting to infiltrate the Tyrell Corporation as an employee, reluctant ex-Blade Runner Rick Deckard (an excellent world weary Harrison Ford) is called in by former boss Bryant (M. Emmett Walsh) to work some of the old magic and retire the four remaining replicants. But with the Nexus 6 model being superior in strength and agility to your average man, and only being detectable by a Voight-Kampf test which measures emotional response (something replicants lack) Deckard will be hard pushed to finish the job...
You could be forgiven for thinking Blade Runner was a fast-paced action orientated adventure flick based within a futuristic landscape. It's certainly what critics were anticipating in 1982 (so much so that rumours started the film would end with a flying car chase over the skies of LA), and with Ford in the lead role following Indy and Star Wars the last thing expected was a slow burning, intense, cerebral thriller that featured more poignancy and European art house than gunplay. Yet when you look at Philip K. Dick's source novel 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' and recognise that the content was protracted by environmental concerns and meta-physical connotations (does a computer really love you?) it's not really all that surprising. The pleasing thing is director Ridley Scott decided not to undermine the novel by turning it into an action fest, and instead concentrated on bringing to the screen perhaps the most stark and greatly realised future dystopia ever imagined.
The opening shot of an industrial shitscape with blooms of fire arcing into the sky and flying cars hovering overhead, juxtaposed by a cut to a large blinking eye and set to Vangelis' wonderful opening score, is absolutely stunning and perhaps one of the most iconic shots ever composed for science fiction. And that's just the start of the film. Having visual futurist Syd Mead on board enhanced the set design to such an extent that the look of the film almost overwhelms the rest of the movie. The heavy metal look and the layered textures of the buildings, combined with gaudy neon, big screen advertising, police 'spinners', a perpetual darkness and never ending rainfall makes for one beautiful nightmare. The world of Blade Runner is often too much for the eye to take in. That's its appeal, and why people watching it for the hundredth time are still finding something new in almost every frame. With each blink (ironic that eyes are a central theme in the movie) an entire world crashes in, be it the whimsical beauty of Eldon Tyrell's opulent office with a view to a feint sun setting behind the smog filled sky, Deckard's chase of a replicant through the populated streets of LA (including bounding through a group of Hari Krishna's) or the Bradbury building - Ridley Scott style - as you've never seen it before.
It's not surprising that since its release many a science fiction source probably owes a nod to Blade Runner. It's difficult to see the world of William Gibson's Neuromancer being set anywhere else, computer games such as Beneath A Steel Sky merely 'replicated' the visual style and numerous films have also attempted to realise the setting but with a heightened CGI colour palette. Yet, Blade Runner needs no air brushing - it looks as gorgeous today as it did in 1982. Likewise, it's fascinating that the world of Blade Runner is slowly becoming a reality with every passing day. The multicultural LA of the future, with people falling over people on its busy streets, large screen billboard advertising and a permanent 'noise' from vehicles and pedestrian crossings is really no different from that of Piccadilly Circus, Tokyo or even modern LA. The perpetual rainfall and the lack of any real animals (all animals seen in the film are replicants) is also remarkably prescient in this age of environmental concern.
If the setting is perfect for a future noir and it's burned out, down trodden, Marlow-esque detective to begin locating replicants then it's just as well Scott infused the film with depth to match the visual style. With Harrison Ford's monochrome voice over removed in the director's cut, and Ridley Scott re-inserting the original ambiguous ending and the inclusion of his precious (and beautiful) unicorn dream sequence, the subtlety of the movies themes and plot are even more greatly enhanced. The anger of the outlawed replicants and their rebellion against their creators is more thoughtfully crafted, as is Deckard's apathy to a job he loathes as he is systematically dehumanised by the process of executing those that are near enough human. Indeed, the fact that the film doesn't simply focus on Deckard but gives equal merit to those he is hunting, their thoughts, needs and concerns is unique as the audience genuinely feel sympathy for their plight. After all, as Gaff (Edward James Olmos) suggests, wouldn't we all like more life?
Like all good science fiction Blade Runner attempts to say something about the nature of man without ramming it down your throat. Roy Batty's (a superb Rutger Hauer) closing 'tears in rain' eulogy is poetic and enchanting and has more poignancy in its 'live life to the full' message that few other films can match. More so the ambiguity of Hauer's words, the motivations of the replicants and Deckard's own questionable ethics, leaves the meaning of the film specifically at the door of the viewer to make their own interpretations - the encapsulation of a perfect movie experience. You can choose to see religious allegory in Batty's meeting with Tyrell and the nail he thrusts through his hand, or not! Likewise, you can make whatever you want out of the unicorn's significance. Sure, there are some action sequences (and some gory - one sequence of eye gouging is particularly grim), but these are often tense and suspenseful, never derailing from the ethos of Blade Runner's intelligence. The replicants Deckard does manage to execute are questionable victims and the final chase is interjected by Batty alluding to a role reversal between him and his pursuer, again making the film less an obliquely black and white experience of good overcoming evil. It's much darker, oppressive and thoughtful than that...
Blade Runner is probably not for everyone. Some will find it's slow pace lethargic and the content somewhat dour and depressing. Additionally with the removal of the voice over, everything is no longer spelled out for those not conducive to subtlety and thinking for themselves. But, for those looking for a visual treat and a thoughtful, cerebral story to match, there is little that can top Blade Runner. Easily Ridley Scott's best film, with performances from Ford and Batty that neither has ever bettered, there's a good reason why a director's cut of the movie was released 10 years later. That's simply to show to those that never got round to it the first time what a truly magnificent piece of filmmaking Blade Runner is. Outstanding!
Overall - If only you could see what I have with my eyes, and whilst I'm sure I'll never get to see what the Tanhauser Gate or an attack ship on fire off the shoulders of Orion actually look like, I have seen Blade Runner. It's awesome! Watch it now!
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Keep on running....
Damn my masochism. Damn my best friend and his "ideas". Damn my refusal to say "how about doing it next year?" Yes, these are the conditions that have led to me signing up for this year's Great North Run on Sunday 5 October 2008. Following the 10K I completed back in July, I've really got into my running again, although I much prefer a fast paced middle distance sprint over a lethargic, enduring jog that seems to go on forever!! Still, you can't raise money running to Sainsbury's and back so a far-flung distance it has to be. 13 miles should about do it - I must be going fucking nuts; that's a blimming long way.
It would have been okay if I'd stuck to the original plan of doing the Great North Run in 2009. Lewis, one of my best men, thought it would be a good idea (for chuckles presumably) if we did it in 2008 instead, giving us precisely 10 weeks to get into shape for the big day. Shit! Ten weeks isn't enough time - so why in the blue hell did I say yes? Peer pressure, probably, but I must admit I did like the feeling of my body looking toned and feeling strong from the training I'd previously undertaken for the July 10K. More importantly being a bone-idol, tea-drinking procrastinator, I find it quite difficult to actually motivate myself to do any actual exercise unless I absolutely, positively have no other choice. Having a target set before you is an ideal motivator!
So, after a few weeks gradual build up of the kilometres, I was up in Leeds at the weekend visiting Lewis and we did our first 10K in training. I followed this up on Monday with another 10K back in London Town. Christ, are my calf's still pinching this evening! But with the Great North Run and the sponsorship for the Multiple Sclerosis Society spurring me on, give it a bit of time and 10K should get easier... it's when the training gets to 15K I'll start to worry. Oh, and only seven weeks left - bollocks! That's seven weeks without beer...
If you fancy sponsoring me and Lewis for undertaking a good hard run around Gateshead on 5 October, then check out the following justgiving link. The Multiple Sclerosis Society is a worthy cause and we will both greatly appreciate your contribution. Many thanks!
http://www.justgiving.com/alboyandlewisgnr
It would have been okay if I'd stuck to the original plan of doing the Great North Run in 2009. Lewis, one of my best men, thought it would be a good idea (for chuckles presumably) if we did it in 2008 instead, giving us precisely 10 weeks to get into shape for the big day. Shit! Ten weeks isn't enough time - so why in the blue hell did I say yes? Peer pressure, probably, but I must admit I did like the feeling of my body looking toned and feeling strong from the training I'd previously undertaken for the July 10K. More importantly being a bone-idol, tea-drinking procrastinator, I find it quite difficult to actually motivate myself to do any actual exercise unless I absolutely, positively have no other choice. Having a target set before you is an ideal motivator!
So, after a few weeks gradual build up of the kilometres, I was up in Leeds at the weekend visiting Lewis and we did our first 10K in training. I followed this up on Monday with another 10K back in London Town. Christ, are my calf's still pinching this evening! But with the Great North Run and the sponsorship for the Multiple Sclerosis Society spurring me on, give it a bit of time and 10K should get easier... it's when the training gets to 15K I'll start to worry. Oh, and only seven weeks left - bollocks! That's seven weeks without beer...
If you fancy sponsoring me and Lewis for undertaking a good hard run around Gateshead on 5 October, then check out the following justgiving link. The Multiple Sclerosis Society is a worthy cause and we will both greatly appreciate your contribution. Many thanks!
http://www.justgiving.com/alboyandlewisgnr
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