Irrational Hate Football Player - #2 Andy Cole

Andy Cole won numerous accolades with Manchester United whilst at the Devil Trafford Bowl, including a Big Cup medal in 1999, and scored 187 goals in the Premiership, which kind of singles him out as a rather talented footballer. The available statistics can help to construct a picture of a formidable striker, with a keen eye for goal and who never missed a sitter when the opportunity presented itself. So it may come of something of a surprise to hear that he was something of a goalkeeper's best friend.

Regularly guilty of missing a hatful of simple chances (none more so than the last game of the 1995 season against West Ham allowing Blackeye Rovers to sneak away the title), this was often overshadowed by the fact he played for United during a period when they were supremely brilliant. With the likes of Cantona, Beckham, Scholes, Giggs, Yorke, etc. feeding you chance after chance after chance, the likelyhood of Cole getting a flooky rebound into the bottom corner was a statistical dead cert. Especially as he had the touch of a donkey. And scoring five against an Ipswich Town side that had unleasehed eleven gibbons on the pitch instead of footballers is hardly anything special.

Okay, so he did score one or two classy goals to his credit, but when you consider the side he was playing for and the easy (oh they were so easy) chances he managed to fluff, he really was a bit of a turdburgling catastrophe. Cantona, Solskajer, Sherringham, and Yorke - Cole's immediate United peers - are all more revered, and can you imagine just how many more goals and how dominant United would have been if Shearer had gone for glory rather than sentimony. At least he does have an international record that shows him up for the Darius Vassell he really is - even Vassell has a better international record!

And then, after years of being referred to as Andy, he became all prententious and insisted that his name was Andrew. Just Andrew. We should just hate him for that, really...